Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
