I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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