Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
