I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
