Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
