Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
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