Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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