I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
