This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
