What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
