If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
