What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
