after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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