I must be too annoying 4 u.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
