and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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