so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
