I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
