just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize