I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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