the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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