so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
