in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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