Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
