Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
