I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
