Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
