Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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