i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Randomize
