Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
My breasts were aching with rage.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
