we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
