ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
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