can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
