first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
