Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
