tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
