i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
