Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize