He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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