We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
