You work out of a Hotel?
I need help removing her.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
