I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
sex in a hospital.. check
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
