His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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