Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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