Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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