I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
