Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
