Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
