But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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