Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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