Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize