shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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