i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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