can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
