haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
