can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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