Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
