Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
