i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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