he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
how does that bad decision feel?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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