i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
