Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
