I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
