So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
